The Unconscious Purpose of Romantic Love


Some people fall head over heels; some folks don’t even realize it is happening, but romantic love is a power phenomenon that allows people to bond and attached so that they can become a journey toward something much more profound and psychologically meaningful. In short, romantic love is nature’s way of tricking folks to begin a journey that they would not necessarily go on.

There are specific aspects of romantic love that I would like to flush out:

Recognition- the psyche is able to recognize what it knows from past experiences. The psyche allows people to be attracted to what is familiar from past experiences.


Timelessness-often a couple in the early stages of their relationship turn to one another and say something like, “I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.” What is actually occurring is that a the psyche (which is timeless) is sensing some characteristics in the other that are familiar because they are similar to primary caretakers or pivotal people from childhood. The psyche recognizes the traits it is familiar with from childhood. The psyche does not know times. It recognizes archetypes that it know from the past. 

AmSense of Wholeness ormFulfillment-during romantic love people experience a sense of full aliveness which is linked to our original sense of wholeness. This is very powerful as it awakens an awareness of all the aspects of the self.


Emotional Interdependence-After a while in romantic love turn to each other and repeat the words of that popular Barry Manilow song, “I can’t live without you”. This is part of the bonding that parallels early infancy when we are dependent on the other for survival. It is part of what helps couples stretch to make a bond with this other person.


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