Executive director of a private psychotherapy practice and the Center for Effective Living, Herbert “Herb” Tannenbaum, PhD, treats couples and individuals in New Jersey. Possessing more than four decades of experience, Dr. Herb Tannenbaum has given numerous presentations and taught several advanced clinical training courses on such topics as self-hatred.
Self-hatred, also referred to as self-loathing, is a detrimental thought pattern that involves individuals feeling extreme hatred toward themselves along with thoughts of being worthless or inferior. Self-hatred is treatable. A few signs of self-hatred include:
– Setting low goals. If you are continually setting low goals, you are subconsciously saying that you’re not capable of reaching higher ones. While setting low goals may seem like a simple way of improving self-esteem it can actually have the opposite effect.
– Using tough love. Some individuals may rely on self-hatred for motivation, but using tough love to motivate yourself just results in increased anxiety. Self-loathing may actually halt your progress toward a specific goal and destroy any motivation you were trying to create.
– Being envious. Constantly comparing yourself to those who you feel are better equates to putting yourself down for no reason. There are positive and negative qualities to everyone and focusing only on the positive ones of another damages your opinion of yourself.
– Apologizing for everything. Taking the blame for every minor mishap creates the belief that you are at fault for everything. This reinforces the idea that you cannot perform certain tasks or that you are a bad person, when most of the time the problem was out of your control.