Adult Love Relationships require that partners learn about the interior of each others psyche and what is needed for safety by each of them. Neuroscientist have shown that safety impacts brain chemistry and allows people to use the neo cortex part of their brain to guide their behavior rather than having the relationship driven by the “old brain” and reactivity.
Couples need to be conscious that their safety is contingent on how safe they make their partner feel! This is a profound paradox that needs to be reflected upon. We can only feel as safe as we make our partner feels means that we our being called into differentiation and consciousness by our relationship. We need to learn about the needs and vulnerabilities of our partner and behave in ways that honor our partner’s needs so that they can feel safe.
This paradigm shifts that calls us to be aware of and honor our partner is transformational for people to understand that they live someone who is different than they are and who has different needs in order to feel safe. This is powerful! It means that by knowing more about our partner and honoring their needs, we will feel safer. That is because by allowing our partner to feel safer they can be more intentional and open to our world.
Imago Relationship Therapy developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Hunt, Ph.D. stresses the importance of differentiation as a key component to developing a conscious relationship. Intentionality about our partners needs and psyche injuries are pivotal in allowing partners to create safety and therefore enjoy the benefits of a conscious relationship.
For more information, please go to my website:herbtannenbaumphd.com.